Focused Read in 3-5 minutes
“The totally phony Susan Rice story, explained
“The former national security advisor’s
surveillance activity is neither illegal or unethical.”
ONE
This is not a criticism of the Political Reporter at ThinkProgress or ThinkProgress! In fact, the headline, the
sub-headline and the first paragraph of the story are more on topic
and clear than most in an age of "infotainment." (And, by the way, I also have no concern with the contents of the story, as determined by writer and editor as it should be.)
No. This is my attempt to note the importance of beginning a story with the most
important part of the story in a world where many of us only have the
time to read the first few paragraphs of a story and, for me, that
means, in this case, the tested public servant's (Susan Rice) story
takes precedence over the tested #BigLies tellers (GOP) story – in the headline, in the first paragraph and in an extended lead!
Further this is my attempt to say: If 21st Century stories are not written in a perfect "inverted pyramid" it is time for readers to take responsibility to read that way as, more often than not, it is not going to be done for you today.
TWO
“The totally phony Susan Rice story, explained”
“The former national security advisor’s
surveillance activity is neither illegal or unethical.”
I love the headline and the
sub-headline: Clear and strong making the point of the story (which
isn't always true!), but the second paragraph in the lead, in an effort to be fair and balanced, I suspect, weakened the weight that should have been given to the public servant in the story.
In keeping with giving the public servant the weight of the story, my version of the lead first. I've altered the paragraphing to reinforce what the headline told me
the story will be about which is more important in an era
where click bait headlines seem to rule the day.
Think Progress first
paragraph works for me:
Conservatives are seizing on a report that former national
security advisor Susan Rice requested the identity of anonymous
people named in intelligence reports, claiming that it provides
evidence for President Trump’s false claim that Trump Tower was
wiretapped.
The second paragraph does not work for me:
so here's what my second paragraph would be, coupled with an extended lead:
But according to national security
experts, Rice’s actions are far from unprecedented.
The
names of unidentified Americans are masked in intelligence reports to
protect the identity of third-parties. When someone with credentials
to request the classified information asks for the names to be
revealed solely to them, the process is known as unmasking.
The
unmasking of unidentified Americans in intelligence reports is within
the scope of the job of a national security advisor like Rice.
According to Kate Martin, a senior fellow at the Center for American
Progress, Rice’s actions are likely legal and probably do not even
raise privacy concerns if the individuals were part of the Trump
transition team. (ThinkProgress is an editorially independent news
website housed at the Center for American Progress).
When an
American’s identity in a classified intelligence report is
unmasked, only those who have a security clearance and the authority
to view the classified information may see the unmasked report,
Martin said. The information may not be shared with individual
members of Congress, let alone outside the government.
Conversations
by foreign government officials are routinely surveilled, and those
speaking with ambassadors should expect that their conversations may
be wiretapped.
Given
Russia’s involvement in the U.S. election, it’s not surprising
that Rice would look at intelligence reports on Russia, including
conversations by Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak. If those
conversations were with Americans, it follows that Rice would ask for
the names to understand more about the conversation.
“There
is no legal issue, and if the conversations were by official members
of the presidential transition team conducting government business,
it is hard to even see what privacy interest those individuals had in
such conversations,” Martin said.
FOUR
From there – bring in
the #BigLies tellers part of the story, followed by more detailed back
ground information.
FIVE
Here's the writer's second paragraph:
Bloomberg’s Eli Lake reported Monday that Rice requested the “unmasking” of third parties whose information is collected during targeted surveillance of other individuals. Conservative media jumped on the claim and reported that it corroborates Rep. Devin Nunes (R-CA), chairman of the House Intelligence Committee’s allegation that information about Trump’s transition team had been “incidentally collected” during U.S. government surveillance of foreign officials.
You can read the full
story by Kira Lerner here
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Curated by Gail Mountain, Network For #StrongerTogether ! is not affiliated with The Democratic Party in any capacity. This is an independent blog and the hope is you will, at a glance, learn more about the Democratic Party and you will, with a click or two, also take action on its behalf as it is provided! You can read more Network For #StrongerTogether posts here: https://networkstrongertogether.blogspot.com/
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